Little Bird: A College Bully Romance (J.E.R.K Book 1)
Little Bird
By: Kait Rose
Chapter One
Madison
9 years ago…
"You dumb bitch, you burnt dinner again! How fucking hard is it to cook a decent meal!” My daddy was a drunk and an idiot. He thought just because he owned this rat infested trailer, we should be on our knees worshipping him.
I looked up from my book to see him back hand my mama again. She hurries to the corner of the kitchen, bracing herself for the blows that are about to come. I put my book down and crawl out from under the table to go help her. She looks more frightened than I ever seen her before. Her whimper catches my attention and I look over to her to see her mouth, go hide. This time I refuse to be afraid and hide like a coward, but be brave like mama is against daddy.
While crawling across the kitchen floor, I feel his body looming over mine. “You’re much as a dumb cunt as your mother, girl!” Daddy screams at me and grabs me by my pony tail.
I feel something cold touch the back of my head and before I can blink my mama is screaming, “No you fucking bastard!”
Bang
The look in my mama’s eyes as she drops to the ground, blood pouring out of her head, is something I know I will never be able to unsee. I run towards her forgetting that my daddy has a gun and I just hold my mom begging for her to come back.
“Girl, get off your mother and fucking come here!” Daddy starts approaching me, but before he can get to me, men in black uniforms coming rushing in.
“Sir, drop your weapon and put your hands up, we have you surrounded!”
Bang
My daddy looked me in the eye, put the gun to his heart, and pulled the trigger. I saw no remorse, only emptiness. Not even a good bye or I’m sorry. I laid there cuddled up next to my mama wishing this wasn’t it.
My mama would always sing to me, “Black Bird” by the Beatles, at the end of the night when my father would come home drunk and high. She would make me promise to always fly, never fall. I always promised her, but at this moment I realized they were nothing but broken promises.
~.~
Days have gone by since my daddy decided to take my mama away. Miss Delilah, the woman who said she was going to find a home for me to live in, told me my mama is now an angel looking over me. I prayed every night since then that daddy would never find her, but what I over heard from the adults talking, my daddy is in a special place down under. I hope it isn’t too nice, he doesn’t deserve it.
I might only be ten, but I knew the way we were living wasn’t normal. My best friend, Stella Ryan, had the perfect life I always wished for. Her home was the complete opposite of mine. She actually has a house without holes, cigarette burns in the rugs, or mold growing in the corners. Most of my good memories come from playing in her castle playhouse. Her daddy and mama would dress up like a king and queen, her brother would be our knight, we would play the princesses, and her dog Benji would play the dragon. I use to wish every night that I could have that life. My mama was sweet and kind to me, but from what Stella’s mom said to her friends, “Good riddance. Her mama was always high and her daddy was addicted to the bottle.”
It was safe to say that Stella’s parents weren’t the biggest fans of my parents. The one time daddy came to pick me up from Stella’s house, he decided to steal Mr. Ryan’s wallet. Her parents were upset and wanted her to stay away from us, but Stella told them I had nothing to do with it and refused to give me up as a friend. She was my only friend, most kids didn’t want to play with trailer trash.
When we started kindergarten, no one wanted to sit by me. My clothes were two sizes too big, I had holes in my shoes, and my hair was a curly mess, but Stella came over and told me we were going to be best friends. I was scared it was going to be a joke, but every day she sat with me and we would come up with our own fairy tales. It was one of my favorite times because it helped me escape my reality.
Since both of my parents had no family, it was decided by the town that my daddy would be cremated and mama will have a funeral and burial service. Bellingham, SC was a small town, but my mama and daddy grew up here. Before she turned to drugs to escape her reality, as what Stella's mama said, she was one of the most popular girls around here. She was captain of the cheer squad and came from a rich family, but when her parents died in a car accident, mama went down hill. That’s when she met my daddy, a criminal from the trailer park. As much as the town talked about my mama when they thought I wasn't listening, my mama was an angel in my eyes.
“Madison, I hate to bring this up again at a time like this, but once the burial is over, I am going to take you to the Montgomery’s house. You remember what I said right?” Miss Delilah whispered to me when we were walking through the cemetery to where mama was going to rest.
“Yes Miss Delilah. You said they were going to take care of me as long as I behave.” Most of the time I just liked to read, I was more of a quiet kid. I didn’t like to draw attention to me in fear that the bullies would take notice.
“OK good, I am so sorry sweetheart for your lost, but I have a good feeling about the Montgomery’s. I think you will be much happier there than where you grew up.”
“Ok Miss Delilah, I trust you.” I couldn’t help my eyes from watering, but part of me knew I needed to reassure Miss Delilah. The other part of me knew she was wrong. I just wish I wasn’t right.
Chapter Two
Madison
Present
“Sometimes Madison, the only thing left we can do is forgive. You can’t go back and change what happened. You can’t go back and change your father’s actions or your mother’s reaction. She chose to save you and your father made his choice. There was nothing you could have done differently in that situation. You need to start living your life.” Said my fifth therapist in the past four years. After getting kicked out of two other foster homes since the Montgomery’s, Miss Delilah ended up fostering me. We made a deal after I turned eighteen, If I stayed at her house, attend community college for a year to get my grades up, and go to therapy every week, she would pay for me to attend St. John’s University and let move in an off campus apartment with Stella.
“Ok Doc, I’ll take note on that and let you know how it goes. You know the four other therapists before you came up with the same crock of shit, but let me tell you something. Nothing you say will take the image of my mother’s cold dead eyes staring back up at me while I held her in my little arms or how I had to watch a man with no remorse, shoot himself in his heartless chest.” I might have agreed to this, but I couldn’t take it seriously anymore. After ten years, I don’t think simply telling me to forgive that bastard was going to fix me.
“Madison, you’re speaking out of anger. If you just tried our methods to start forgiving and moving on, I guaranteed you will start a happier journey” Doctor Fully looked up at me from whatever he just scribbled down on his pad.
“Oh poor Doc Full of Shit, I don’t buy what your're selling and if you were smart, you’ll pass me on to the next poor sap.” I pulled a joint out of my pocket and stared out the window. These doctors didn’t understand, nothing they said would ever take the images of my father murdering my mama and what happened at the Montgomery’s out of my head.
Dr. Fully took my joint and threw it out. I don’t even know why I take one with me because every time I do, he just confiscates it. “Listen, I’m going to cut the doctor shit and tell you person to person. I get what you went through in those last four years at the Montgomery’s was horrible. I couldn’t imagine living through what you did. I realize what I say isn’t going to magically heal you, but I want to get you to tha
t road of healing.” He looked at me like I might just finally agree. I never believed in happy endings and I didn’t need for him to delve into that also, so I started to put my coat on to head out.
“Madison, just wait a second. Can you promise me you’ll call me any day or time if you need to talk?” He said with hope in his eyes. I did like that he is taking a real approach instead of the robotic doctor bullshit, so I agreed.
“Ok Doc, I can do that.”
“I’ll take that as a step forward on the journey to happiness.” He couldn’t even keep a serious face when he said it. I couldn’t help the slight smile I had creeping out either.
“Ok Doc, will travel down the yellow brick road of happiness that you magically think will appear. I think soon I am going to have to charge you for a session of what is reality and what is a figment of your imagination.” I laughed while walking out the door into the South Carolina heat.
While walking home, I had to admit Dr. Fully wasn’t that bad. He was definitely better than the doctors I had in the past few years. The shit I gave him never fazed him and I like that he was the most realist out of the others. At thirty five years old, give or take, he was more understanding to my methods of coping and at least showed his real side to relate to me. Well he did try the serious doctor robotic speeches in the beginning, but I brought out the real him towards the end of our sessions. I would never tell him so, but he was the one out of the other therapists that I actually kind of liked.
When I got back to Delilah’s house, a brand new Camry was sitting in our driveway. It looked expensive which made me nervous as to who could be here. I walked inside and Delilah called out, “Madison dear, is that you?”
She sounded like she was in the kitchen, so I headed in there to see who else could be here. To my surprise no one was here, just Delilah sitting at the kitchen table reading one of those god awful gossip magazines. With her being in her late thirties, always wearing a cardigan, and having her red hair in a bun, you would expect her to be drinking wine and reading a classic novel instead. The real Delilah though has two guilty pleasures that consisted of reading gossip magazines while having a Bud Light.
“Whose car is in the driveway?”
“Surprise!” Delilah drops her magazine and jumps up to hug me. What in the hell is going on?
“Did you finally retire that dinosaur you like to call a car?” I turned around and grabbed a soda out of the fridge. As soon as I take a sip, she decides to tell me.
“No silly, it’s your going away gift!” I spit the soda all over her in complete shock. No one has ever bought me something so nice, I am for once speechless.
“Oh love, close that mouth of yours before you catch a fly and let’s go for a spin.” Delilah wiped the soda off her and is dangling the keys in front of me. I can’t help but snatch them up and run outside to my new car. It’s a brand new 2019 Toyota Camry with leather interior.
“Thank you so much, but I have to ask why are you giving me a new car when your car dates back to the prehistoric era?”
She stared at me for a minute while looking lost in thought. I knew that look and that was the I am going to say something that upsets her look. “When I first met you, you were a small fragile looking girl. Then you know after the Montgomery’s, we tried different homes that really didn’t work out. You went from that little girl full of hope to now a woman who stopped believing in the happily ever after. I wanted to give you something to show you how proud I am of how far you come. For what you went through, you still pushed through and graduated high school and pulled up your grades at college. Now you’re off to St. John’s and that is part of the reason why I’m giving you a car, so you have no excuse not visit me. The other part is that I want you to see that there is someone who cares about you and wants to see that light come back in your eyes.”
The memories of the past were coming back to me, but I force myself not to think about it and focus on what Delilah was saying to me. It was a lot to take in, but I knew deep down she was right. That light inside me turned off when he ran away. His name was Jude and he was everything to me. We met at my first foster house, the Montgomery’s. What I endured, no child should ever go through, but it was bearable when I was with him. I didn’t want to talk about it, so I walked over and gave her a hug. Delilah seemed to understand that and accepted my hug as an answer.
“Ok, so enough of that. What do you say we go for a cruise and stop at your favorite diner before you head off tomorrow morning?” She throws me the keys and starts racing over screaming, "Shotgun."
I can’t help, but laugh at her. “Sounds good, but Delilah you don’t need to scream shotgun when you are the only passenger!” God I am going to miss her.
Chapter Three
Madison
It was five in the morning and I couldn’t go to sleep for the life of me. In just a few hours, I will be packing my things for the fifth time. I felt anxious moving in with Stella in a new home. I feared what will happen if she hated living with me and wanted me to leave. I knew she wouldn’t do that, but that fear just wouldn’t go away. At least Delilah said she will always be here for me.
It felt really good that Delilah cared about me. If my mom was looking down, I hope she was happy that Miss Delilah came into my life. She was always there when I got kicked out of the foster homes and she never made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. The first home, the Montgomery’s, I got kicked out, but that was a blessing. The second home, I pretty much terrified them and that lasted only a week. The third home, I lasted one night. I’ve been living with Delilah for the last five years and she became a second mom to me.
A few hours later, we were packing my car with the last box. I was attending St. John’s University, about an hour away, so I told her she could stay home since it wasn’t that far of a drive. Honestly, yesterday was full of emotional talks and I couldn’t do another day of that. It was already exhausting trying to pretend I was ok. She had no idea the nightmares never stopped and the sessions I am in now with Dr. Fully made little progress. If I told her the truth, it would only worry her. Especially now that I am away from home.
~.~
After an emotional goodbye from Delilah and an extra half hour of traffic, I was finally pulling up to the house I was sharing with Stella. When Stella meant that we would forever be best friends, she wasn’t kidding. We lost touch when I was living at the Montgomery’s, but when I came to live with Delilah, I went back to going to school with Stella at Uniondale. I didn’t think anyone would recognize me and I hoped no one did. My hair was now cut to my shoulders and the frizzy curls where now smooth chestnut waves. I used to wear dingy, dirty, or even boy clothes to school because it was whatever my mom could buy which didn’t leave many options. Now I was in brand new Steve Martin boots, skinny black ripped jeans, my favorite band shirt, and a flannel thrown on top. I guess you can say I had an edgy look going on, the complete opposite of Stella’s princess glam look. Stella was all about the bling and the pink, which made her look like a princess. She’s a little calmer now with the bling, but majority of her closet consists of pink and pastels. My closest on the other hand is majority all black. I guess much hasn’t changed.
When I walked into Uniondale, the girl must have had a sixth sense because before I even walked ten feet in, she was rushing towards me and wrapped me in a hug. I was taken aback and for a second I didn’t know who was hugging me. I thought maybe they got the wrong person, but when she squealed like she just won a million dollars, I knew it was Stella. I was happy to know she was still the sweet and kind girl I knew. I just hope she would still like the new me.
People always think that scars are just physical marks on our bodies, but I think of people as scars too. Their actions stay with us and lead us on a different path than what we were on. Sometimes I wish I could just forgive and move on like the doctors have been drilling in my head, but that won’t take away the memories that haunt me.
I arrived at our house and from just look
ing at the outside, I am amazed how nice it looks. It’s a small house with stone covering the front, a huge porch, and the windows were so clean I could see my reflection. It was more than what I expected, but Stella’s parents were well off and they didn’t want her ending up at a sorority house or the dorms. She was in the dorms last year and the person she shared a room with was the spawn of Satan.
Knox, who is Stella’s brother and someone I occasionally fool around with, offered me a place at his house, but that just sounded like a messy complication. We fooled around here and there in the past year, but we kept that from Stella. I never lied to her, but we knew if she found out she would worry she would have to pick a side when we called it quits. That would never happen since we were both free to hookup with other people. I didn’t believe in romance and neither did he, so it worked out. Stella on the other hand is a hopeless romantic and doesn’t believe in friends with benefits. She thinks if she randomly hooks up with someone, that will be her person for life. I think those fairy tales we would read got to her head.
I took a deep breath and got out of the car to go inside. Stella wasn’t getting here for another few hours. She promised to spend the day with her mom and then was going to drive up here around dinner time. I was happy to get sometime in the house alone, maybe get in a nap since I barely slept, but that was just happy wishes. As soon as I walked in, Thor’s twin was sitting on my couch. Knox was six foot three and two hundred and fifty pounds of muscle. He was the complete opposite of Stella who was five foot and a hundred pounds soaking wet. The only thing they had in common was their blonde wavy hair and their optimistic personalities.
“Please don’t tell me Stella gave you a key.” I dropped my bag near the doorway and made my way towards Knox in the living room, where he was currently shoving a sandwich in his mouth. “Let me guess too, you helped yourself to the fridge.” I shook my head, the way he ate you would think he would be fat, not all cut up.